My Own Fairytale

2012-01-16T09:24:00.000-08:00

What do you see?
Hammer pounding mercilessly,

It's a reminder, defying Nature's law isn't wise.

Strings of mind-boggling questions tangled up,

It's a reminder, its time to untangle.

Strange faces rush by,

It's a reminder, its time to learn them.

Callings unanswered,

It's a reminder, reflect on the necessity of it.

Words don't make sense?

It's time to change perspective, why should it make sense?

I understand, do you?

If you do, why would you?

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Why can't it be?

Because it does not matter.

We all have our answers.

It's well kept in our writing desks.

Don't ask, don't tell....shhh... ;-)

2011-12-10T22:53:00.000-08:00

Once bitten,

Twice shy.

Secret's hidden,

Killers lie.

The Mirrored Shadow

2011-10-11T21:12:00.000-07:00

~Prologue~

She was panting heavily, trying to garner all the strength she has left to run as fast as she could in the dark woods, knowing that if she stops, she will never get away from it. She could hear its breathing, she could feel its desire to devour her. She had to find that place, she needed to get hold of that holy piece. She had no idea how it looked like, but she needed to find it nonetheless.

" What were you looking for?"

" I don't know, but I can't stop looking."

" Why? Aren't you tired of running?"

" Even so, I couldn't stop, its our only chance."

" You mean, its your only chance."

" What do you mean by that? I am not alone in this, shouldn't you be helping me too? You are as much a part of this as I am."

" You wish. I don't have to."

" I will find it, just you wait. I will save both of us."

" You don't have to, I am not afraid."

She saw a blast of blinding light ahead of her, this must be it. The enemy was close, she needed to hurry up. But she tripped, and it wasn't the woods anymore, she fell into the nothingness beneath, she couldn't see anything, the light blinded her eyes temporarily, she only knew that she was falling, falling deep and a deafening scream tore out of her throat as she fell deeper and deeper into the pit of darkness.

She woke up with a start. Beads of sweat formed on her forehead. She was panting heavily. Again. It happened again. This nightmare of hers. She ran into the bathroom to puke, it was nauseating. She has been afraid of height ever since that day, and the nightmare never stopped ever since that day. She washed her face and rinsed her mouth. That bitter taste on her tongue bugged her, it was not the best way to start a day. She looked into the mirror, inspecting the pale girl in the mirror, thinking if anyone can see the darkness in her, thinking if anyone can save her from the darkness engulfing her. She never felt more alone in her life. The pale looking girl with enlarged green pupils looked back at her, her black messy hair curled around her waist. She looked like she just spent a sleepless night. Well, it might have been better if that was the case.

" Claire, breakfast's ready." Mrs Alberich yelled from the dining room.

Elizabeth Sinclaire Alberich, preferred to be known as Claire, a 16 year old teenager, schooling in Oakville High, the only daughter of the well known Alberich family living the ancient mansion at the end of Oakville alley. The mansion was passed down generation by generation with history as old as Oakville itself. Mr Alberich is the owner of a massive business empire dealing with different business genres, so numerous that everyone in Oakville just acknowledged that he owns everything. Claire was so lucky, presumed by everyone, she wished that she feels that way too. If only they knew.

Death

2011-10-05T22:09:00.000-07:00

What do you do when you land on a situation where you wanted to just run away from but you can't and you couldn't change anything to make anyone feel better?

What can you do when you are desperately looking for someone to blame but you can't find that person and you are left with more questions than ever?

What do you do when you are left to face the impending cruel fact?

That is death.

I've seen death when I was a lot younger. And all I know was that its an occasion that you just want to cry your heart out. That was when I didn't know how death will be there everyday since then. Now when I see death again, there is not a tear to spare because all I felt was numb and shocked. Tears everywhere. They were all mourning. I took it all in my eyes but I don't know what to do to make them feel better. I see black.

It was a great loss. He was a noble man. A well respected figure. Everybody was shocked that he left so swiftly without a warning and it was a terrible scene to withhold. I couldn't imagine how his daughter and son will get through this.

No one escapes death. Everybody knows that but when it happened,we were never ready for it. If there is something that can represent death, it will be a black teardrop.

2011-10-05T22:03:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I write here, it's holiday now, so a good time to start writing.

Yeah, I wrote something.

2011-08-07T08:53:00.000-07:00

Time

Time is ticking, what will you do if you caught a glimpse of your hour glass?

Will you live like its the end of the world?

Will you tell anyone about it?

What is your last wish?

Will you leave alone and quietly?

Do you believe in after life?

I do.

I always wonder what happens next.

Do I feel like me after that?

Spirit is just a ball of energy, without a solid body, where will it go?

If men could travel through time, which point of your life will you change?

Or do you prefer not to and travel forward?

I prefer not to travel either ways.

What is life without an irreversible past?

Life is meaningless if the outcome is predictable and manipulable.

However, if I can see other's past, I want to witness history.

I want to go back to the time where buildings are just stones and legends are just ambitious men.

I want to meet Galileo, Beethoven, Queen Elizabeth, emperors of China and smack King Henry for being a womanizer.

I want to witness the Salem Witch Hunt and write stories that were never told from the witches' side.

Time, is what brings us here in this position.

Time, is the only art that no man can master.

We want to surpass time, but we never did,never will.

Why not let time ticks away and watch when history is being made?

Time, will never stop ticking anyway...

2011-07-24T05:56:00.000-07:00

It has ended at last. The character that I've grown up with, the fantasy that I secretly wish that I'm in, a world that never existed but exist so vividly in my dream. Harry Potter casted his last spell and put the famous magical war to an end, ending his epic magical journey which has brought so much wonder to the people in our world. How many times have we chanted "Expelliarmus", " Stupefy" and " Expecto Patronum"? How many times have we held our breath whenever a Death Eater yelled :"Avada Kadevra" ? I remember stepping into this Potter craze when I was 10, ever since then, I never looked back, raced to the nearest Popular bookstore to grab a copy of the newest Harry Potter book whenever J.K.Rowling penned yet another great addition to the series. J.K.Rowling has given me a dream, a beautiful world that I longed to live in. She is like a fairy god mother that granted my wish. I grew up with Harry Potter, we all did. We all imagined how it is like to be the boy wonder, to be magical. I remember waiting for the owl that never came to bring me an admission letter to Hogwarts. When it did not arrive, I asked myself over and over again, what have I done wrong that Dumbledore does not want me ? I am sure many asked the same thing, Hogwarts is better than any Ivy League schools, in my humble opinion.

And now, the boy wonder has grown up into a legend, he fought and won the battle. We anticipated and cheered for him. Now it feels so sad that we have to go on with our lives without him, he gave us the best battle to look forward to, and now its time to move on. Sure, there might be other books, but to me, none will be able to match this. Harry Potter will always be my favourite, I will always chant "Expecto patronum" when things get rough ( softly, not out loud, I'm no Luna). I wonder, can it be that " Expecto patronum" means expect the patron? Harry Potter did emphasize one theme throughout, its love that triumphs over evil in the end, loyalty of friends that Voldemort never had comes from love. Its a great story, a journey that we never regretted that we embarked ten years ago. How time flies...

2011-07-18T08:08:00.000-07:00

When river flows, there is no stopping it, just as one cannot do anything over spilled milk.

Somehow, I can't help feeling that I should have done better, work harder.

Disappointment is like an unresolved debt which burdens the heart.

What else can I do but wait for a chance to redeem myself?

There is nothing more disheartening than coming home feeling that one could have done it differently.

As the river flows, sorrow follows, let the water washes away the dejection.

A new day will come, sunshine will reign.

It is not that bad after all.

2011-07-03T01:50:00.000-07:00

Life unexpected.

Plan, predict, create, one can do all that and still fails to foresee the future.

Demand, hope, dream, one can only wish for the best but still life is loaded with overwhelming turns of event.

When the dawn fails to break and night prevails, coping is the only way through.

Dreamers are men of wisdom, they understand only through dreams, the heart is strong enough to carry on.

With dreams, come hope and longing, light will shine the way eventually.

Be strong my dear friends for one day, you will look back and realized how much you've grown.

One day, you will see your efforts are not in vain, they just bloomed late.

Look beyond, it is this unpredictable life that gives rise to millions of possibilities.

Everybody has their own stories to tell, believe that your story is worth telling because it is unforeseen,unexpected and unpredictable.

2011-06-18T23:05:00.000-07:00

A Man Like None Other

He is the first man who held me from the moment I come to live.

He is the first man who taught me how to see the world.

He was there to catch me when I fell from my bike.

He brought me to my first funfair and spun with me in a cup.

He is always around when I need him.

He is always supportive of my dreams.

He gave me everything that I ever wanted and is the only man I will turn to when I want something, even if it means defying my mother's wish XP

He is also the only guy who can make me shiver to my bones when he is upset.

He is a man whom I look up to when life gets harsh because he taught me how to charge through any obstacles with nothing but a lion heart.

He is like the Sun that keeps emanating warmth, faith and hope. So there is no darkness when he is with me for I know the dawn will break under his overwhelming faith.

Have I ever told you the reason I have always love the merry- go- round even though I am too old to ride it anymore?

It is because it reminds me of my childhood where you are in every part of it.

I fondly remember how excited you looked when you brought us to the merry- go- round and rode with us. No matter how many rounds the horses went, they will always bring me back to you, back to my family. I remember everything from my childhood because it is the happiest part of my life and I know you must have done so much to make it so.

Father,

I am not a child anymore but I will always want you to treat me like one because your boundless love makes me reluctant to grow up.

Selfishly, I want you to always be strong and healthy so that I can always be a baby :p

Given the opportunity, I will stand at the highest place I can find and shout at the top of my lungs to the world : Father, I love you so much and I am mighty proud to be your daughter!Long live the king !

I will move mountains for you because I know you would have done so without hesitation for me.

You are the best father in the whole wide world!

Happy Father's Day!

Counting the days until you come home......

2011-06-17T19:51:00.000-07:00

"Nobody sees a flower - really - it is so small it takes time - we haven't time - and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time." Georgia O'Keeffe, so he says.

Many cross one's life, only a few will leave a mark. We enjoy the company of many acquaintances, however, how many will stay and listen to the sorrow of your heart or leap with joy at your success? We need not but one true friend to see past our disguise. We need not but one true friend who will think of us once in awhile even though we're far apart. It is easy to make acquaintances but difficult to turn it into friendships.

Having said that, I know how blessed I am to have not one, but many who walk with me and will continue to do so even when life gets in the way. It takes two hearts with the same understanding and emotional quantum to collide, causing an impact or bond. Hence forth, a friendship can only be formed naturally albeit not randomly, one can try but never to demand. I have not the knowledge of statistics to calculate the probability of forming a close-knit friendship with another person, but I know it must be extremely lucky of me to have done so with them.

Actually, I preached like a monk here because I am happy that a friend of mine bought me a pretty little gift even though there is no special occasion. I love irregularity in a regular day! We have not seen each other for quite awhile and she's having her holiday right now. Its so sweet of her to have thought of me, thank you so much!I'm feeling all fuzzy warm inside because of you, yeah you! :-P

I think I've just spoiled the solemnity of my writing by including the previous paragraph...oh well..I can't force my writings to sound serious when I'm in such a bubbly mood! " You know that I'm a crazy chick and I do what I want when I feel like it...(that's from Avril Lavigne's Smile, no, I'm not crazy but somehow this song comes into mind when I have nothing else to write :-) )

2011-05-15T00:30:00.000-07:00

I like windy day, where the clouds look heavy, threatening to splash water on the dry land but still waiting for the right moment to do so.

I like it when there are thunders once in a while, not too deafening, but just like a soft roar from an awakened lazy lion.

Some flashes of lightning maybe, because sometimes, at the right moment, they looked like lightings from a heavenly stage.

A soft breeze will compliment all the above, making it a perfect combination for a perfect day.

All these will be so welcomed, but no rain, there must be no rain, for it will be too wet and troublesome for people who needs to walk to and fro on the streets.

That's my idea of a nice day, weather that will make me too lazy to do anything that requires much work, where I can just sit and read, or just sleep, very soothing way to spend my holiday ^^

2011-05-08T08:07:00.000-07:00

I'm dedicating this post for the very woman who influences me the most, and forever stands a considerable position in my heart, the very woman who makes me feel that nothing will ever be so wrong as long as she's by my side, the woman whose life revolves about me,my sisters and my dad but never asked for anything in return. The woman who always tends to our needs but neglects hers, always thinks that any scars that she bears are always worth it as long as we're happy, mother, this is for you.

Thank you for being here with me from the day I was born and never missed any moments of my life, be it big or small occasions.
Thank you for the time you've wasted in waiting for me to come to my senses when I'm being rebellious, obnoxious and inconsiderate.
Thank you for all the patience when I'm just unreasonably cranky and rude to you.
Thank you for your boundless love and faith in me.
Thank you for letting me expand my horizon and curiosity, and went as far as to accompany me when I'm doing that.
Thank you for all those scrumptious meals that await me everyday without fail, no matter how tired you may be.
Thank you for being my courage.

In science language, Robert Hooke once said cell is the basic unit of life. I have to object to that.

For me, my mother is the basic unit of my life, for without her, I wouldn't live to write all these. ( too dramatic, no? :P)

I said it often, but I know its barely enough, so I will say it again, Mother, I love you, so very much, and I wish for your well being. You are the star of my life, in return, I will always try to be the best thing that ever happened to you, other than father of course :P

Your wish, will always be my command, excluding the days when I'm being a brat of course :P hahaha

Happy Mother's Day to all the women who worked the hardest just to make their children happy, no words are enough to pen down the nobility of your love.

2011-05-07T03:12:00.000-07:00

I've just watched Definitely,Maybe. I love it, besides the main attraction of the movie: the cute little girl in that movie, the dashing and charming William and the beautiful woman April along with so many others, I love all the quirky quotes and how life isn't perfect. The main character in the movie made lots of mistakes, and he wasted so many years to get it right again. However, he learned a lot from life, and he found his happiness in the end. Of course the movie has a happy ending, if it ain't a happy ending, I wouldn't love that movie:P

Life isn't perfect, but in the end, there must be a happy ending which one finds solace from, that happy ending does not fit into everybody's expectations, it depends on the main character of that movie.

One thing for sure though, love always play a big part in crafting that happy ending. In this case, I would say, it is the love of his daughter that guides him into finding his happiness in the end. So, love can come in any forms, and they all work the same way, give the same effect, at least to me, it appears to be that way. Inevitable in one's life.

Now that's a very comforting fact, it means we will all find happiness, since love comes in so many forms, surely it will hardly miss any of us earthlings right?

2011-05-06T09:22:00.000-07:00

Its time for a change.

The wind has blown from a new direction.

I have always love the wind, the way it makes me feel like it will always take away any anxieties I might have.

I feel different for the choices I have made in the past, I'm not so sure if its what I want, but I'm sure that I don't want to sit idle by and wait for the wind to settle down, because when it does, there's nothing more I can do.

There's always a point of no return, sometimes it brings peace as when there is nothing more to change, one can only settle down, its for the better.

I've done my part and had my adventure. Although things never quite go the way I planned, I had the time of my life when I've decided to follow the wind, to follow my desire to change.

Along the way, I have found the meaning behind these, and that is important to me, as I will have to live with that when I've made my choice. And all these unsettled feelings will go away once I have reached the point of no return.

When that happen, I'm going to accept what the wind has brought me, with the knowledge that I have tried my best, and that's all that matters. Things will be fine again, I'm sure of it.

To be or not to be, that has always been the question.

2011-05-06T00:35:00.000-07:00

All that happened in April..

When time is not a luxury, everything seems to be moving in a slower pace, and there is time to think about people that I miss and wish to spend more time with..

Well, all's well, I'm just a little nostalgic..

2011-03-09T05:33:00.000-08:00

I'm going out to catch a movie during a long break between lectures! Haha its nothing to be excited about, except this, its the first time I'm going out and have some fun BETWEEN lectures! There's always a first, I do hope that there will be no last minute cancellation, because it will be SOOO kill joy..We're gonna watch The Adjustment Bureau, the trailer looks interesting, I think it will not fail me ^^

2011-02-18T06:34:00.000-08:00

Ever felt that time flies too fast, and things happened too fast, when you finally stop and catch your breath, suddenly you feel like you're missing something important? I miss my dad.. I know that he will be back soon, but I hate good byes. A lot can happen in a day, and when I finally finished what I'm supposed to do, I feel like I've missed the most important part of the day. Its like I'm seeing everything through a veil, I know what I must do, and where my responsibilities lie, so I did what I thought was the right thing to do but sometimes, all those just make me feel like reversing time and go back to when I don't have to make my own decisions. I like where I'm at right now, because I still stay true to my heart, but in a place full of masked men, how long can I stand without feeling lost in the end? It makes me think, why must people wear masks? Is it so hard to put your faith in someone? I believe everybody has their story which will explain their behavior, but maybe I should stop trying to understand those stories, is it how things work in the real world? Reminds me of a song called Something More. However, contrary to the lyrics, I do know what I'm fighting for, haha that's a relief.. I'm happy here, I can see there's a lot of things that I've never realized how important they are before. I guess I just haven't got used to the idea of being an adult. Time is ticking..there's so little time for me to take in so many stuff that matters most to me..You can't stop the time flowing just as you can't catch the sand..

2011-01-21T08:10:00.000-08:00

Finally..from now on, I will be careful at what I eat +.+

These three weeks, I had been very busy with my university life, I had fun with my batchmates in THE orientation( 2 weeks), but at the same time, I was sick. Well, I guess I have no one to blame but myself because when the doctor asked me what I ate, my mind went blank..I have no idea at all..I ate anything that will ease my hunger..junk food, spicy food..I really have no idea..I know its weird for one to forget what one eats though..

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't food poisoned for 3 weeks..no no no, if I were, there will be nothing left in me but a mass of dry skin..eww..ok, please, don't picture what I just said.

OK, back to the topic, I think I skipped too many meals during orientation, my old friend, the Gastric stopped by recently and annoyed me terribly==

Just when I thought I got rid of it, on Monday 2am, I was food poisoned and the details, no one has to know. Arg!!

Anyway, I woke up at 7am on Monday, feeling dizzy. My mum just took one glance at me and insisted that I have to consult a doctor. So, after all the hassel, I went and collected my medicines from the doctor, then I drove to my university. I know I'm selfish for driving when I'm in such awkward condition but I couldn't skip the class because it is compulsory to attend lab sessions(severe consequences if I don't), and it was our first chemistry lab session in that university.. So I drove slowly and carefully ( really, mum, if you read this, believe me) and I'm still alive today, haha thank god. And, when I did my titration in lab, I couldn't read the burette at all, because I saw double images of the reading, hell, I couldn't even see the miniscus, however, I was lucky because that day we were doing it in pairs, so my lab partner helped me to read it while I did the titration. So I only had to focus in not overshooting the ethanoic acid. I missed my foursome in Taylors a lot while I did the lab work. All the lab equipments and benches, though they are different now, while I was laughing with my current lab partner, I thought of how Yasmin, Kelly and Wei Ling used to do that with me too..Ok, enough..I'll see them again.Definitely, right?

Seriously, I need to sleep early. I need to finish my lab report and home assignments. Now, I miss my holiday..people, slap me if I say I am bored with my holidays..its not true..

2011-01-03T07:00:00.000-08:00

First day of school. I don't have words here. Seriously, I'm tempted to copy and paste the agenda of the day straight from the IMU website here. There are pictures though.. and my heels are killing me. It doesn't hurt if I didn't have to climb up and down the stairs from the parking area at the hill top then crossed the road and watched out for elevators. ( why do they have elevators in the building? why not just build enough lifts or stairs? I hate elevators and I practically have to hold my breathe everytime I cross it!) Let's call it a day, I'm tired from all the marathon and speeches..you know how first day is usually like...I'm looking forward to tomorrow though, I have two weeks of orientation. I wonder how its like..

2011-01-01T08:44:00.000-08:00

The first day of my new year was a blast, only two words to describe it: sparks fly!

And you wouldn't have guessed why, and its not something you get to see everyday.

Well, it started out like this, I was watching One Tree Hill comfortably on the couch after a long day out while waiting for the clock to tick away year 2010 and welcoming year 2011. So I was crying for the death of Quentin Fields, a character in the drama and kept thinking why he had to die. Then I was listening to Taylor Swift's new song called " Haunted". It seems to be a bad time since its new year and I was what, marveling at those unlucky words..Suddenly, in the midst of my tears, the lights went off, I was freaking out cause I thought the song has its effect, the word "haunted" kept popping into my mind. Just when I was about to run up to my bedroom, I heard some crackling sound and saw fire sparks.For a split of second, I was puzzled and thought why is there fire crackers in my house. Then I choked at the sight of the source. The fuse box was on fire..after the fire sparks, the fire stayed on and were eating the plastic casing.. I was dumbstruck, stood there stupidly admiring the red yellowish flame for a few seconds before I realized that I should be waking my mum. She put out the fire, called my neighbour who can fix this. So I slept at 3 in the morning that night( or was it morning? dawn probably,see how deprived of sleep I am?), watching the uncle worked with the fuse box with my sleepy eyes while my mum was chatting away with my neighbour at how lucky that I was up late that night, I guess you can call it new year luck.Haha

So there, as I was saying, what a blast, my world went black on the first day of 2011 after a sizzling fire.Happy New Year! Haha sparks fly...literally.

2010-12-26T01:20:00.000-08:00

This is the last week. And I'm just writing for the sake of writing, because I really don't have anything better to do right now. Looking back, I wonder if I could have done more in the past six months. I wonder if I've just thrown away a good six months of my life doing nothing. Yeah, I worked, I learned a bit of French, did a hospital attachment, but I also wasted most of my days sitting in my bedroom, watching dramas. Some of the days, I was sitting on the exact same spot from morning till night, except for the time when I took my bath and eat, you get the idea. That's not really a way to spend six months isn't it? Funny, on any other time, I would have been really busy with school work or exams. Now come to think of it, maybe that's all my life is about, school and exams. Without it, its a bit too empty. People can save the world in six months, or six minutes. The point is, I would be proud if I can say I found myself in these six months, its a self-discovering holiday for me. Sadly, its not. I still don't know what I want from life. I still don't know what can I fight for, other than just studying. So here I am, still waiting for the epiphany to dawn on me, if there's any.I know I whine a lot, but that's just what we do right? Young folks who know nothing about the world, the bad economy, the recession and the fear of no tomorrow..excuse me but I'm just gonna get back to my bedroom and continue moping till I find out that I can save the world or that I have a letter from Hogwarts.

2010-12-23T09:37:00.000-08:00

There's a lot I can say or more precisely, write here, but I think its sufficient to say I'm happy for you. You have done well. Honestly, as your sister, I don't think it matters much to me, I'm not assessing you in any way, no matter what both of you do, you guys will always be my little sisters and you guys don't have to prove anything to me. However, I feel that I did not express myself properly when you told me how well you did, both of you actually as both of you have been through this, and twice I did not show enough appreciation or encouragement for your efforts. Besides, it will be weird if I ask for a hug now. I can only say that both of you make me a proud sister, this will never change, I will always be grateful to have two great sisters.Congratulations again. I should have said it to your faces, but its awkward to say so, so I wrote it here: I love both of you, always and forever.

ps: you will not hear it from me, I am only this sentimental when I write. hahaha *wink*

2010-12-18T04:44:00.000-08:00

Today I went out again, but its entirely for a good reason, I'm meeting Ashley, my best friend who has migrated to Australia a few years ago! Yeah, she's back for holiday, and she's going to stay till February, how awesome is that?!

Met her in front of the Starbucks, greeting me with a smile, she looked beautiful as ever. Miss talking to her so much! So we abandoned our plan to go for a movie, instead we ate lunch and chat, did a little bit of catch up. After all, it has been years since we last met face to face. We are definitely chatterboxes because the two of us talked non stop, except to scoop in the food, which is highly obstructive and annoying at that time, hehe I lost my interest in the food I ordered although I was hungry that time. It seems urgent to get everything I want to say out that time, more urgent than filling my hunger.

After that we went for a karaoke session..yeah I know, I just went that day, but with a different companion, its a totally different experience ok! Had so much fun catching up with her today. We are definitely meeting each other again before she leaves Malaysia.

2010-12-16T21:20:00.000-08:00

I baked cookies with my sisters and cousin that day. Its just butter cookies, the easiest of all, but mind you, we put our heart and soul in it! hehe..that's exaggeration..We had fun printing the dough using different moulds. There's heart shape, tree, bone and apple shape moulds. I like the apple and the heart shape ones. We put some raspberry jam on them so its not just plain butter taste. It's a little overbaked at the sides, but its our first time, and I personally like the over baked black crispy side, really...So I may have done it on purpose, yeah, purposely over baked the cookies..haha

not very convincing.

Anyway, I want to try baking some other cookies,for Christmas! Though I don't celebrate Christmas, lately, I have been getting a lot of Christmas vibes. (Maybe that's because I loitered around shopping malls a lot lately and the pretty Christmas decor caught up with me)

The day before yesterday I watched Narnia with my sisters and cousin. I gave the 3D technology another shot. It was better than the first 3D movie I've watched, the Last Airbender, gosh, that was awful. Only the subtitles were 3D..what kind of 3D movie is that? Narnia was way better, I like the way the snow flakes popped out of the screen.But its still very dizzy,watching the 3D using the glasses. I really like Eustas when he's a dragon, don't see much in him when he's a boy. He's a fine dragon though. And, Caspian is soooo handsome in this movie! I'm glad that Edmund instead of Peter has the most scenes here, I have always fancy Edmund more than Peter. Someone will be very disappointed as Peter hardly show himself here, haha yay!Lucy is very beautiful too.

Then we sang in the Green Box. Don't know what's got into my sister but she kept picking all the old chinese and taiwan songs that I don't know how to sing. But I filled the pages with all my songs after that, wahaha and she kept complaining, that was sooo fun!

Two more weeks to go and I should say au revoir to my holiday, kinda nervous. Next week I will sit for my French exam, my teacher said its going to be tough..hopefully he's jesting..I need to soak myself into korean dramas now..Tata!

2010-12-08T02:30:00.000-08:00

My Happy-Teaching JournalAnother young teacher, my sister's friend..she's helping out, after all her sister is my boss..
Happy family

Christmas!
Jeffrey

After class, they were playing games under the table, sneaky..hehe
Handsome boy isn't he? That's my son,wahaha
My beautiful daughter Yee Kit, hehe

Bonsoir!Merveilleuse journee..la fin de ma journee de travail!

So today I was Santa, hehe a very poor one..not even a reindeer to help me with my gifts..not that I need it anyway due to the small amount..I didn't have enough to give to all the kids so I have to give it in a hush hush way..not working though, because once they received it, they started unwrapping and making noise..so much for an undercover Santa..

My boss set up a Christmas tree in the common room, its small but cute, the kids had fun decorating it with small toys, I have the urge to put all the presents below the tree instead of giving it away haha!

The kids asked me when am I coming back to teach again, I told them not in the near future, they kept asking why, hehe so touched! My daughter kept sticking to me for the whole day, so funny the way she looked when she scolded one girl for sitting at her place next to me ( she dragged her own chair to that spot,so its her place). One of the teachers told me she is a leader in making, hehe can see that, she's mature at her age, and she is quite bossy, though among the youngest there, she's quite a leader when we have something on, for instance a party, she will not shy away from tasks and even helps me in monitoring other kids while working. She likes being the boss, haha that's my girl, so proud! She loves her present, clutching it like a treasure everywhere she goes. I gave her my contact number and asked her to call me sometimes, I am not sure she knows how to call though,haha

There's a small damper to a beautiful day: someone stole one of my presents, it was meant for another cute girl, one of the bigger gifts I prepared for younger kids..I didn't check anyone's bag or accuse anyone because I was afraid I might hurt someone, but I am sure its one of the kids because I found one of the boys poking their nose into the gift bag while I went to the toilet..hmm..I hope the gift is not stolen but I misplaced it somewhere..Not good to be a criminal at this age..well, sounds so wrong, nobody of any age should be permitted with when it comes to crimes.

And, I got my pay check! hehe first time in my life,I earned my own money. I am going to bring my sisters out for a fine dinner,haha bills on me! More shopping allowances! Oh, and of course, must save some..can't spend all of it..not wise..

So its the end of my teaching career for now...not that I am pursuing a teaching career in the future, huge responsibilities..stressful job, not for me haha..I am so gonna miss all the kids, especially my daughter! I hope they grow up to be intelligent and responsible adults in future. Come to think of it, if we met somewhere after ten years, shopping for groceries, will they remember me? Curious...

2010-12-06T06:15:00.000-08:00

Not all were here, some lurking in the corner, doing god knows what...and blimey, I've grown antlers..hehe kids

The two Iranian girls.. not very friendly, the elder sister on the left, the younger one is ok..look at her glare..
The young teachers..hehe..restraining myself to add more adjectives..

The handkerchief game! Anyone with a decent childhood should know what that game is about, hehe just kidding..
My daughter..cute right?
My daughter and her brother, unless I got the relations wrong, that makes him my son rite? hehe

Friday, 3rd of December 2010

Today I started off to work with a bag of snacks. A couple of days before, I promised the kids to throw a party today, all of them are supposed to bring some snacks and share with each other. I told them if they want, they can bring gifts to exchange, since Christmas is around the corner, might as well make it a Christmas party. After arranging the tables, I laid out all the snacks on the tables and monitored them while they exchange gifts.. I have to remind myself not to let them do this again because, apparently, kids are incapable of exchanging stuff quietly without complains of sizes and so on. I have to buy one for a kid who can't find anybody to exchange with her..sigh.. The day went pretty well. Kids ate, talked, laughed and played musical chairs. Took pictures, after all the chaos, it ended well. After that I started cleaning up the mess and one of the girls, so kindly to have noticed that I was cleaning, asked me: " Teacher, why are you cleaning like a maid? " Gosh...I should have told her because I was playing Cinderella..instead I just smiled lamely. At least my " daughter" helped me, she's so adorable! Can't blame me for taking a liking to her, and..just between you and me, I prepared gifts for the kids, guess what? I wrapped the biggest gift for her, wahaha.. a maid, am I?

2010-11-30T05:33:00.000-08:00

Does it look like its repenting for its mischief?
I feel so guilty! I spent a lot of money lately, mostly on clothes. Although I am very happy with the things I bought, its a guilt-ridden pleasure. Everytime I went out ( no need second guesses to know who I went out with..), my purse will go on a major diet and I walked out of the mall feeling that I was robbed. I am beginning to think that there's some kind of curse on those shops that make me voluntarily hand over all my money to them. I wasn't always this easy to be tempted, I think the main reason I was now is because when I am contemplating whether I should buy it or not, there's a tiny voice inside my head telling me: well, you worked, so you can spend it anyway you like! See? There's a devil in my head.Its not like I earn a million per month..sigh...So now I am pathetically repenting for my sins here..well, admitting your mistake is the first step right? hehe So here I am, acknowledging my mistake. Alright, this coming month, other than food and movies, I am not spending any money on stuff I don't need! (Well.. I need clothes, don't I? *arg..I can always find a good reason to support my evil deed..why is that?) Carmen, thanks for the chocolate^^

While I am repenting here, my friends in the UK must be freezing, yes Yasmin? I read that this year Britain has the coldest winter compare to the last few years, its like -14 degrees according to the article, right? To all my friends in the UK, I hope you guys are well, take care! If, just in case you guys have polar bear's stamina, try making snow angels on the snow^^ Kelly told me she will try it one day, I wasn't so sure its a good idea, you have to lie down on the snow and flap you hands to make the wings, don't try if its too cold, not a good sight to see frozen people on the ground...

2010-11-28T07:52:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, it doesn't matter.

2010-11-23T08:24:00.000-08:00

There's this boy, I've been trying to approach him and teach him. He is a very smart boy, but he has attitude problems. He keeps to himself, but when he is in a cheerful mood, he will join in the fun. Sometimes he steals stuff from the other children, nothing big,just pens and erasers. The children always know and they will take it back from his bag. He seems to know it too, and he let them, but he always does the same thing again. I don't think he wants the stuff, he's a rich boy. I don't understand why he does that either. I never punish him, because somehow, when the others told me he's a thief( they always tell me that,right in front of him), he always looks down at his feet and says nothing. I can't bring myself to punish him because he looks so sad. I see no guilt but loneliness. The other teachers will punish him, so, although I shouldn't let him keep repeating it, I thought I shouldn't punish him like the others, I want to know how he feels and why he does that eventhough he knew all the children will search his bag whenever something went missing.

After a few attempts, he seems to be more friendly. There's one afternoon when I taught him, he kept joking and laughing. He spoke to me cheerily, treating me like his friends, and at that moment, I felt very happy that he finally open up. And he did all the work perfectly. I was very happy to see him like that, and he even said good bye to me when I leave, well, he isn't very outspoken and seldom greet people loudly like the others, so I felt so touched that day. It seems that he trusts me.

However, today he wasn't in a very good mood. He refused to do the work I asked him to do. I know he is the type of kids that doesn't obey if you punish or spank them, so I was more lenient to him. I asked him to do his work, nagging him. Then he told me he doesn't know how to do, so I said I will teach him. He sprang up and started writing. So I thought that's a good sign. But to my dismay, he copied the answers directly from the book, all of it. He seems to think that he is doing all the work for my sake. I asked him to stop and do it properly, he just kept writing, furiously, as if the papers are his enemies.At that moment, I felt very disappointed. I know he can do it if he mean it, but he just kept copying the answers. I felt that my blood is boiling at that moment and I don't know why, I can feel my tears rolling in my eyes. I felt like I have lost the boy again, and he drew into himself once again. Before I realized, I snatched the work sheet from him. The others thought its funny because then the boy doesn't have to do any work. The boy kept his pencils and started playing. I ignored him completely because I really don't know how to teach him. He doesn't need me to teach him how to do his papers. I just wanted to teach him how to change his attitude, but I know I failed. So to avoid losing control of my temper, I simply walked to the other kids' table and started teaching those that have been waving their hands frantically for me to help them in their homework. Nobody sensed anything because I was smiling as usual. I tried very hard not to look at the boy because I felt very sad when I do so.After that, he walked out of the class casually, like nothing happened. I felt hopeless today, I wish I know how to gain his trust and try to help him. Maybe he doesn't need my help after all, or maybe I was wrong to think that I can help, and that he needs help.

2010-11-12T01:24:00.000-08:00

Hehe, they were very proud of their art.
The artist..

Art in progress

This morning I woke up on my own ( proud..), my mum usually calls my cell phone to wake me up for work, since its a daily routine, I am usually half awake before she calls because my brain seems to remember the pattern already. But today she didn't call, I was wondering if its a Saturday, or is it because of the heavy rain, my work is called off? After reasoning for awhile, I decided to get up, luckily, because my mum didn't forget, she was just late because she figured since its raining, she will let me sleep for awhile ..haih, there goes my off-work fantasy...

Such a nice weather to sleep...

Today my kids finished the work I gave them earlier. Maybe its because of the holiday mood, they were very lively. I was a bit nervous because the day before, I promised to tell them ghost stories today, but I forgot to google the stories so I had none to tell. Fortunately, children are forgetful beings, hehe so they didn't ask for it..I was draining my brain trying to make up a ghost story while they were doing their exercises. After that, I let them play since its almost holiday. However, they must abide by my rules.

The game was very simple. I know they love to draw, since today I'm teaching science, I asked them to draw a picture of a jungle and the living things present in the jungle on the white board. After that, they must label the creatures they drew. They were very excited because they get to draw on the board, I was a kid once, so I know how much attraction a white board holds. I have no idea why now. I told them not to include any robot or ninjas..they have a tendency to include that in their drawing so I told them I will minus their mark if they do that. Actually, its not a test or a competition but it worked. Kids..

They were very serious in the creation of the art. One of them even went through the trouble of finding a picture book and referred to the pictures of animals. After that, I taught them how to form food chains. They have not learned it before so its new to them. But since its referring to their own drawings, they happily formed out nice and long food chains for me. Learning and playing sure come together for kids. So in the end, they learned how to form food chain in the jungle and the sea. By the way, kids really do have rich imagination.

Oh, they asked me to upload the pictures on facebook so they can comment on it..facebook again, I really don't like the way it is getting more and more influential..soon it will be the only means of communication..ish..

2010-11-09T05:18:00.000-08:00

The girl with the collar shirt,waving her hand like a boss is Yee Kit ^^

Today is the birthday of one of my students. She was from the afternoon tuition session. I wasn't aware that they were having a party today so I was surprised to see the kids running around in the classroom and nobody seems to be ready for class. The older children decorated the place while the kindergarten kids were being bossy although they don't really do anything other than screaming and making a mess, hehe though they're kinda cute. I was in charge of taking pictures using my phone because nobody has a camera. The birthday girl's mum made her a cake. Technically, it wasn't a cake, it was jelly, so its a jelly cake. We did the usual, sang her birthday song, took pictures, ate the jelly. After that the kids were having so much fun playing, I couldn't bear to ask them to stop what they were doing and start the class, so I let them play for awhile. They were quite cooperative when I asked them to keep and start the class later. Today the class was merry. I played songs from my music list while they were doing exercises I gave them because they seemed sleepy and tired after all the commotion from earlier. One of the girls started singing, no lyrics of course, just Aah..hehe like choir warm up. One little girl hugged me,she always does that when she sees me, I like her a lot..shh..not to be biased but every teacher has a favourite right? I don't teach the kindergarten kids anymore because I took over the other class,the older children. So I don't get to see her as often as before but she is still as cute as ever, kept knocking my door and pressed her face onto the glass panel of the door. Another girl tried to make me laugh by tickling me, I told her tickling never works for me. Actually it does, hehe..I was very afraid of tickles since young but I realized if I stop playing along,nobody will do that to me. So everytime someone tickles me, I pretend as if it doesn't itch and has no effect.And most of the time, when I convinced myself it has no effect, somehow the ticklings really don't feel so itchy.So everybody thought its no fun at all. Same goes for today, I pulled a straight face and told her its nothing, so she ran away. Very relieved after she left. Since my blog doesn't have a lot of readers, and it is not well publicized, thank god, so I reveal the long and well kept secret here: I am afraid of tickles so its all acting and self restraint. Just hold your breath and try not to laugh, that's all I do, hehe.

2010-11-05T01:56:00.000-07:00

Ta-da!

Before the cake wears its little black dress..
It is all dressed up and ready to go!

Bonjour!

Out of boredom, I baked a cake today hehe^^ This is the first time I baked a cake, but its not much different from cup cakes. I started with the basics, a very simple cake. I wanted to bake marshmallow cake but my sisters don't like marshmallows, so I had to leave out the marshmallow.Hmm..speaking of marshmallows, it reminds me of Kelly and the class trip..

Ta-da! I baked a dark chocolate cake, the layer under the chocolate is cocoa flavoured, I wanted to bake vanilla cake as the base but I couldn't find the vanilla extract so I used cocoa powder instead.

When I cook the dark chocolate, I poured in too much water,so the chocolate topping is not thick enough, but I followed the recipe online..I should take note of it and change it next time.

It isn't the best cake I have ever tasted, obviously..but its the first time I baked one and eat one, very happy of it! hehe..

Let's give it a name,I always name my teddies. Hmm..its called, The Little Black Dress! hehe

My mum prefers the original flavour without the chocolate, so next time I will bake one without the chocolate then.

I cooked too much chocolate sauce so I had extra, guess how I deal with it?

I ate it with marshmallows! wahaha.. but I couldn't finish it, such a waste.. the chocolate sauce is too sweet, ugh..so I got sick of it after a while..me, sick of chocolate? Never thought of that..no way.

Bon appetit!

2010-10-30T06:45:00.000-07:00

I went for a swim today. I think the world under water is much better. Quietly beautiful.

Everything seems to slow down when you observe in the water.

Silence.

I always choose to stay awake at night because its quiet. If I can breathe under water, I will stay in the water instead. Its a pity I can't stay under the water, like many swimmers can. Someone taught me how but I never get it, must I hold my breath or let it out so that I can sink? So I can't sit on the floor of the swimming pool. It would be nice if I can sit and observe...Not that there's much to see in the swimming pool though..so what's the point? Can't really sit and chat with friends under water right? Well, actually, I know there's a person who will happily join me if I say I wanna sit and chat under water because she told me she loves sitting on the floor of the pool.

When I swim, I hear nothing, can't feel the motion as well, its like time stops..

Safe and secured.

The water is like a barrier that separates the outer world from me. Under water, it feels like everything that happen above the water can never affect me, and I am merely an outsider, observing quietly.

And it makes me feel safe and calm.

Provided that I don't drown though. Here's a thought: why can't everybody swims when we were in water ( amniotic fluid) for at least nine months once upon a time?

2010-10-27T21:38:00.000-07:00

I had an epiphany. Maybe, epiphany is an overstatement..I had a thought this morning.

I was reading a novel about crime cases, ok more specific, I was reading Sherlock Holmes. It described a dead man, the horrified face of his, his eyes and some other stuff in details. Then I thought, if men invented a device which can transfer last images seen by the eyes into a more complicated machine, and at last project it to a monitor screen, then crime solving will not be that difficult right? If it is invented, detectives can see what were the victim's last moments, and the face of the murderer. The device will extract information from occipital cortex and the amygdala located in the limbic system(brain). Occipital cortex is in charge of processing what we see and amygdala stores emotionally provoked memories, especially fear. So combining those informations, images that are integral in solving the case can be extracted. If the victim's eyes are removed, it will not affect the information because its the brain that stores the images, not the eyes, the eyes are just a vessel that transfer the images. Erm...I sound cold blooded to speak of it that way...

But then, if the criminals know that the brain is the key to this device, there might be a problem of increasing headless corpses. Being haunted by beheaded men is very disturbing, so maybe..such devices shouldn't be invented at all..

This is a gross post..now I am imagining flying heads and eyeballs..eww.....gosh..I shouldn't have written this at all..god knows how often I have nightmares..But for the sake of science and justice, I am risking peaceful nights delivering this..noble huh? hehe enough crap for today.

2010-10-24T04:07:00.000-07:00

Saw this in someone else's profile, grabbed it..hmm..one of the few pictures where I look a bit like gangster..no? hehe see, didn't tug in my shirt, no tie..guess which one is me?Not the one with the jeans..that's too obvious..though it isn't school time when we took that..not going to write about what's the occasion..just one of those things we do in the past which remains as a fraction of memories..

2010-10-22T20:42:00.000-07:00

I was hiding behind one of the cabinets when I took these..hehe

Hospital Attachment.

Due to the abundant time I have, I applied for hospital attachment and was granted three days in the hospital of my choice. I applied for a week, but they shorten it as October is one of the hectic months. So here goes..

18th October 2010, Monday

I reported to the pharmacy department at eight in the morning. I reached there at seven thirty, spent thirty minutes looking for the department office. Luckily I've foreseen this so I departed earlier that day. The lady in charge is a senior pharmacist. She gave me a brief introduction, then showed me a video of various departments of the pharmacy in that hospital. It was my first day, so the first hour I spent there watching the videos and listening to briefings. I wanted to familiarize myself with my name, so I introduced myself as Estherine. Surprisingly, all of them can remember it. In the end, I found out that, its because it sounds like a medicine's name, one of them told me that, hehe. Another pharmacist told me,it also sounds like an inhaler's brand. He showed it to me, its called Astolin, if I remember correctly. Ok, my name is quite fitting for a pharmacist then.

Later at ten, I was brought to the outpatient department. I tagged along with a trainee. She's very nice, she taught me how to fill prescriptions, how to label the medicine and some protocols of that department. All the pharmacists there are so friendly, I made a couple of friends there. There are some IMU graduates too, and a few who graduated from the University of Bath and University of Strathclyde. So I grabbed the opportunity to ask them how was it like, when they were there. They told me it was fun, and they miss it there, heightening my anticipation.

After lunch, I was brought to the inpatient department where they prepare drugs for the patients staying in the hospital. I tagged along with another trainee. She was in charge of the dangerous drugs where every vials need to be recorded and handled carefully as they were probably addictive, for example morphine and cocaine. She said, if one was broken or went missing, they have to report to the police immediately. She let me do the recording and paper work, as I can't fill prescriptions,obviously..She will be preparing the aqueous morphine the next day, however I will not be there because the next day, my schedule is fixed by the lady in the office as well.

19th October 2010, Tuesday

Reached at eight sharp, this time, I know my way. That day, I was supposed to spend time in the drug information centre. The senior pharmacist gave me a task. She asked me to find and read a few books, then classify and tell her how different the reference books are from each other. List of the books: MIMS annual, Drugs in Pregnancy and Lactation by Briggs, British National Formulary, Stockley Drug Interactions, Drug Information Handbook, AHFS, Handbook of Injectable Drugs and Martindale's. The books are thick, and not very fun to read..its like dictionaries..So I spent two hours trying to read it and pick up the differences. After that, she gave me four drugs of similar use and asked me to look up for it from the books. I am to draw a table to tell the differences of the drugs in their administration methods,doses and so on. I typed it out but when I want to print it, the computer went haywire, and poof, all my works were gone before I know it..and such an idiot I am, I didn't save it first. So, I wrote it out on a piece of paper based on what I remembered, luckily its just four drugs, so I managed to remember most of it, except for dosage. And, due to my artistic handwriting, it wasn't easy to read..but she didn't mind..phew..

In the afternoon, I was brought to the clinical pharmacy department. I thought I can see how they do the ward rounds, but apparently, I wasn't allowed to, so they just showed me videos and gave brief introductions. The pharmacist in charge was strict, she asked me a few questions while briefing me, I felt like I was in an important interview, cold sweats all over.

20th October 2010, Wednesday

This is the last day of my attachment. This day, I was brought to the Total Parenteral Nutrition Unit. This is where they prepare the IV bags for patients who can't be fed orally, for example prematured babies. The place was sterilised,as the chemicals were injected directly into the patient,so it has to be sterile. I wasn't allowed to enter the clean room, where they prepare the drugs. I saw the room though, its a chamber with lots of doors, and the pharmacists who went in need to change into a few layers of clothings,gloves before they enter. The trainee gave me a few handbooks to read first before bringing me to the ward. I followed her to the neonatal ICU. She said its a daily routine, they have to check the IV bags everyday. I saw prematured babies. Felt so bad for them, they were under special monitor of the nurses and on tubes. One of them has chronic lung disease and has punctured heart. They are so little, and fragile.

After lunch, I went to the Cytotoxic Drug Reconstitution Unit where they prepare the cancer drugs. I wasn't allow to touch anything there because the drugs are toxic and dangerous. They said, if accidentally spilled, it will cause severe side effects. So they just explained to me how they work there. That was the end.

I enjoy the whole experience. The lady in charge of my schedule went into all the trouble of filling my time with important knowledges eventhough she was very busy herself. She kept checking on me when I was doing my attachment. She said she wanted me to learn all I can within this short period of training. I really appreciate her efforts. The last time I went to an attachment, I was left in the same department and practically hanging around doing nothing. She said it was normal because I don't have any knowledge regarding this sector yet, but still she made it different because she doesn't want me to go home the same before I came here, nice right?

I have decided to go there again after I enter my first year. She said I am welcomed to do so.

21st October 2010, Thursday

Its the day I went for my first French class. There's only five of us, hehe surprisingly, I was thinking how nice will it be if there's only five students the night before that. My instructor is a Malay guy who has been to France and lived there for more than six years. I was the first one to arrive, shortly,another girl came. She's very friendly, so we got to know each other and sat together for the class. She is a student from INTI, doing American Transfer Degree Programme, going into business course. She said she will be going to Paris for six months next year, an exchange student programme, thats why she needs to learn French. The teacher entered the room with a string of French words, where me and my new friend stood there, dumbstruck and completely ignorant of what he was saying. He laughed and started the class after introducing himself, in French..well, I don't know what he was saying except his name..so not really an introduction. Then he asked me to introduce myself in French. So I just copied what he said and substituted my name into his..hehe I figured that's my only chance of getting it right. No one laugh because we were all beginners. It went like this: Je mapelle Estherine, Jhabite a Cheras. hehe wrong pronunciation but at least I guessed correctly..

He said my name sounds like a French name, so he remembers my name. One thing bad about this, he kept calling me to answer questions..==

The class was fun. All of them were here for a purpose.One of them is a budding fashion designer who is going to Paris, so she needs to learn French. The other two are going to Paris soon too. I am the only one who learn it for fun..hehe kinda embarrassing when I said that. I was very happy that day because during the recital of French verses, the teacher praised me twice for reciting it correctly. Looking forward to the next lesson! Au revoir! hehe

In the end of this week, I realized something new about my name. It has no meaning, because I googled it before, but it sounds like a French name and a medicine name. Hehe..ok, its a weird name. Whatever..its just a name..a weird name for a weirdo like me, perfect fit.

Speaking of weird, I found another eerie song named Zombie by The Cranberries..the chorus part kept replaying itself in my head so I search for it after I first heard it on Fly FM..its quite nice..hehe I listen to weird music lately..but my choice of music genre is quite wide,classical,pop,gothic metal,opera,soft,emo,but not rap or metal rock..songs that are too noisy irritates me.. and I don't find it weird..only my sisters find it weird..and I think I am annoying them because I keep singing it..zombie zombie zombie~ hehe I love to annoy them, wahaha

2010-10-17T07:24:00.000-07:00

I am craving for cakes...so I decided to google all these..yummy!White chocolate castle cake! magnificent..so fairy tale like..
chocolate rose cake..romantic
colourful cupcakes, it makes me feel happy!feel sweet by just looking at the picture.
Another white chocolate cake, I know I am biased when it comes to white, but this is truly beautiful! I won't be able to eat it..its an art!

This is actually a lemon cake, it reminds me of the little mermaid..I like the softness the design portrays..feel the sea breeze?hehe
Cute shell cake..I can't remember what cake is this..

Ice cream cake! I had one this year, feel like a kid again!Whole new sensation when you join cake and ice cream together..
Tiramisu cupcake..The sprinkled part looks delicious..I like how the tone changes from dark colour to a paler colour, when its more spread out..
Strawberry CHEESE cake...it looks very delicious though..hmm..I love strawberries..without the cheese..hehe
Can't remember the name,but this cake looks so elegant, it paints a picture of a young Victorian lady in my mind.
Another beautiful creation.
Caramel cake..see the melted part? must be very sweet!
Mousse cake...its nicer than cheese or cream!
The infamous chocolate cake, can't go wrong with that!
Passion fruit cake..I like passion fruit's fragrant..this will taste delicious and smell good too!
Mango cupcake..I think the cake looks so soft,it will melt the moment you bite it, oooishi!
Cheese cake..honestly, I think cheese cakes have deceiving appearances..let's give it a name, the Liar's cake, hehe..Most of the time, cheese cakes look the most delicious because its shiny and smooth on the top. And its golden yellow..which is very appealing. Take for example,this honey cheese cake, had I not know its a cheese cake, or not smell it, I would really love to eat it. I wish I can eat it, I wonder why I hate it so much..hmm..haih..I just can't stand the smell nor the taste of cheese..cheese cake should be made ugly..hmp!

This is a very sweet post with temptations, if I can eat cake everyday, without gaining weight and diabetes, I would happily do so!

By the way, Alpha and Omega is quite funny, I like that movie..watched it with my sister today, hehe felt so childish but its not bad..

Magic

2010-10-12T06:22:00.000-07:00

Why does magic only exist in fiction and cartoons? Yeah right, magic exists in reality too,miracles do happen. But I'm not talking about those magic, I'm talking about Harry Potter magic, spells and enchantments. People who read those books, I'm sure every one of them wish that they can step right into Harry's shoes and start casting spells, doing magic. I'm sure every child would love to fly on a broom stick. Why can't we?Though there are dark magic and curses, so are the good ones..a little magic can't be that wrong right?

If given a choice, what kind of magic do you wish to posses?

Hmm...I want to be a healing witch. So I choose healing magic. Imagine, just by touching the patient,I can heal them. Yay! hehe..and I will not wear brown cloak like the conventional witches. I will only wear white cloak.And no pointy hats..I am a witch with style, hehe

Or, I want to be able to control water. Its so cool if I can walk on water and cast water at my will.

Then I can prevent tsunami.

Ooo..or the ability to read minds. That's very cool too, just like Edward Cullen. Then I will know what is troubling the people without having to ask, not everybody choose to tell when they are in trouble. Then I can help without seeming to invade their privacy, hehe I used seeming, because mind reading is the biggest invasion of privacy. Honestly,if someone can read mine, I will be very offended. So if I can read mind, I will keep it a secret.

What else?The magic to turn trash into trees! Nah..just kidding..hehe

The ability to communicate with animals! Yeah, that's a fine magic. Then I can hear my dog's inner voice. Maybe not my dog..I'm sure she will be complaining about me...I can summon a unicorn then. After all, a unicorn only listens to girls, according to legend. Smart choice. Further more, unicorns are white magical creatures. A righteous being.

The magic to purify an evil soul, then there will be no bad guys! Imagine, when I walk on the street and a snatch thief follows me. Then when he is about to snatch my bag, I purify him with one glance, then he becomes a saint. Or just a normal guy. Hehe if everyone is a saint, then the world will be too dull..When you try to sneak a snack into a cinema, he stops you. When you gossip, he stops you. What a nuisance!

The magic of invisibility. There are times when I don't want anybody to find me. Invisibility will be a nice hiding magic.

Ooo..flying magic! Who needs cars when you can fly? I want to fly up high,into the sky and grab the clouds even though I know the moment I touch it,I can only feel vapour. There's something about the clouds that just make me want to touch it, its like cotton candies, and I love cotton candies!

My, my..I begin to sound greedy..hehe that's it then. Hmm..maybe a little ancient magic or magic runes..Ok, enough of my rattling. Check out this site:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/merlin/#

Merlin is back! I think Camelot of Arthurian Legend is the Cadbury Castle, somewhere near Cardiff.. so I must visit the place alleged to be Camelot one day.

So, what is the magic you desired the most?

2010-10-09T06:02:00.000-07:00

Emilie Autumn

I came across a very unique singer while I was browsing through Youtube videos today. Her name is Emilie Autumn. She's an American, and she's extremely talented. She can play violin, piano, harpsichord, viola, guitar and she's a vocalist as well. Not to mention, she writes her own songs and is good at poems too. Her music are gothic with classical touch. She even performed with the London Philharmonic Orchestra once. Her life is full of hardship though, she had leukemia at the age of two, but she fought it and healed. She started playing violin at the age of four,a step taken to cure her bipolar disorder. Violin is her strongest among other instruments. I like her music, although its gothic, but I think its nice and she's a very special singer. She looks like Alice to me, because of her clothing style. Her lyrics are very poetic, for instance Rose Red and I like her arrangement of O Mistress Mine, quite nice. I like Rapunzel as well. There's one song called Marry Me, its not romantic, in fact its a little creepy, and a bit funny.I don't know how to describe it, sarcasms in lyrics, and its quite sad..the music is in major key, sounds cheerie, but its a sad song, at least I think its sad. People will think I'm weird for liking it, but the music stuck in my head. Can't help it. My sisters don't like her music, they said the music are creepy, maybe so, but I kinda like her music. I don't do music reviews and am not good at it, but I really think she's one of a kind.

2010-10-07T01:31:00.000-07:00

Life

The very first breath you take when you start your journey, your life can take form in two colours.Most of our lives are the colour of white. Its empty of experiences but full with expectations. Eager painters waiting and wondering how to fill the white canvas of your life with colours that leave marks, marks, not scars, so its a good thing. So life is like a ball of hope.

Some lives are the colour of black. Grim and sad from the beginning. They were born in places of broken hopes, in places where famine and wars are eternal companions. They were left behind, starved of love and expectations, lack of painters. Sometimes, its fate, but they have bad beginnings, so they have to find and grasp on pieces of scattered light. Only those who believe in life, can go on. So life is like a test of survival skills for them.

Life isn't fair. No matter how hard you try, sometimes you fall. Even so, life goes on for the others, and it will never stop for you either. At these times, life is the colour of red, its not stopping for anyone and its fearless. You just have to get up on your feet and start chasing it again. Maybe, if you try a little bit harder, put in another teaspoon of effort and have faith, life can still work for you. Just like cooking, a teaspoon of salt makes a difference. So life is like a race here.

When you do it right, life is the colour of yellow. You taste the sweet flavour of victory, taking in all the breeze of satisfaction and feel like you are at the top of the world. What more can you ask for? So life is like a sun.

When you simply feel at ease, with all your love ones with you, life is the colour of pink. You are never alone when life is pink. Laughter and tears accompanying you, so are the people who care. Love is in the air. It is the centre of your life, every moment matters as it is always meaningful when you experience it with someone you care. Your life is lively and happy. So life is like a dance.

When life starts, it starts with two colours, so when it ends, it ends with two colours. If you found what you seek in life, understand what life is about, and you are in tranquility, having no fear for its end, life is the colour of white again. You will leave with peace. Some say life is like a candle..but it ends when light goes off..I believe with every death, there's another birth. Life goes on. So life is like a wheel.

If you have sinned throughout your life, do as you please and yet found no company nor satisfaction, you fear for the end as it scares you, the unknown when you still want to manipulate and yet you can't this time. Then life is the colour of blue, sorrow and cold. You will leave in solitude. It doesn't matter to you if your death brings another birth as your mind is too full of yourself. So life is like ashes for you, it will follow the wind and stop leaving marks in people.

What colour is your life now? How will you define its colour?

2010-10-03T22:39:00.000-07:00

Trying out clothes..
This is too expensive..but I tried it anyway..hehe
Kelly said, the top is suitable for funerals..==

Kelly's room

Today I met up with Kelly. Finally she's here.. Since it was Sunday, I went there early because I was afraid that there will be no parking place later in the mall. I drove there, I've been there once to find my way. I used the tunnel, actually, I was dreaming while I drove, that's why I went into the tunnel. Previously I used the path with traffic light. So when I realized I used the wrong route, I just drove straight, then I realized its actually the same, hehe..leading to the same path. I think God has finally agreed to give me some direction sense because, I found my way, and I've been there only once, hehe before that, I have to practice like ten times before I can remember the way. Yay, so happy with my new found direction sense, hehe.. Someone once told me, girls have no direction sense, hmp..he's wrong, wahaha, I win again.

OK, back to the topic. Taylor's lakeside campus is so big and beautiful! I am green with envy..its so much better than the sad IMU building standing in solitude...I parked my car in the basement area, before I left my car, I was checking around to see if I accidentally parked at the wrong place again or not.. because before that, I accidentally parked the president's place in IMU..the guard left me a note, asking me to check next time before I park..I really didn't notice the tag on the ceiling..hehe maybe I am destined for bigger things, hence its fate that I parked that president's place..kidding..Kelly's narcissism has started to influence me..hehe she can't online for two weeks, so she will not be able to protest now, wahaha..

At first, Kelly wanted to show me her room, but her key didn't work, so she was locked out of her apartment..actually she just doesn't know how to unlock it..I'll elaborate on that later. So she took me around the campus. She doesn't know all the places yet, but there's a library( the whole building is the library itself..gosh..paradise..),gym,swimming pool, big lake, MPH, shops like Famous Amos, Baskin Robbins( ahh...), Wong Kok Restaurant, and lots of shops have not finish its renovations. It will be a great place to hang out after everything's done. After that we went to Sunway Pyramid.

As usual, we just walked and shopped around there. I bought a cardigan and a formal wear, so I shopped with purpose, hehe it was with my mum's permission, I need those in IMU..I still don't understand why aren't we allowed to wear jeans in campus..I really love my new cardigan! Cos its white, pure white, and with buttons, and with pockets, and a tied back ribbon behind, and its long! The most important feature is its colour, hehe love it so much! Ok fine, filling the space with my shopping spree is unnecessary and boring. We had lunch in Dragon-i. Kelly ordered the Sichuan spicy ramen.. I don't really like it because its saturated with vinegar..yeah, I don't like vinegar.. but it isn't at the same rank as cheese and milk..My mum loves vinegar..so does Kelly, but I don't like it...I wonder why since I love sour food..My mum told me, it wears her brain out just to think of what to feed me since I was born..hehe my apology, I can't help it la..I mean, I can eat everything she puts on the table since I don't have food allergy, but I can't love all of it..whenever she prepares a dish which I don't like, for example pumpkin, I will finish my food as soon as possible and gobble up the pumpkin so that I won't have to taste it.. hehe then leave the table as soon as possible..

Anyway, we loitered around the mall until four, then we went to the Taylor's Language Centre because I am thinking of taking French classes, but it was closed, so we went back to her hostel.The warden told her, she has to press on the key after turning it,so there is no problem with her key,hehe she just didn't use it correctly.Her room is so nice! We watched Vampire Diaries in her room, chat for a while, after that, I took my leave. She escorted me out because there's a lot of turnings, doors and 3 elevators to take before I reach my parking place. When we got out of her apartment, I walked straight, then she said goodbye cheekily and went into another door..== I took the wrong path..hehe..we bid each other good bye and promised to meet up again soon, so that's the end of the outing.

I had so much fun, really miss her a lot, now that she's here, I am going to disturb her more,wahaha..she kept complaining that she doesn't have internet connection in her place, so she can't play facebook games..she's really addicted to it..

That's the end of the fun part. Tomorrow, I am going to help out in the tuition centre again. My boss needs a helping hand and I felt guilty for taking two months holiday, so I agreed to help her for a week starting tomorrow. It isn't that bad, since the kids are adorable, hehe ..Two more weeks then my hospital attachment starts...running out of rotting quota..I plan to take French classes and guitar class also..if my mum permits, she is fine with the French class, but not so easy on the guitar class...

2010-10-01T06:43:00.001-07:00

Today I woke up from a weird dream, it left a bad taste on my mouth and I had sour mood early in the morning. Don't laugh at this, I dreamed that all my teeth fell off, just like that, and I had none left. Its so horrible, without my teeth, I can't eat, and I can't talk. I don't know what triggered this dream, sure I ate a lot of sweet food lately, but I have always been like that, have sweet tooth since I was a kid, why now? I didn't lie a lot, so now why would my teeth fall off? The moment I woke up, I was so relieved to find that my teeth is still with me. Funny, in my dream, my mum told me, it will grow back in no time, and it did, just the tip of it,like baby teeth. And yet I felt sad, because my teeth became perfectly even and I lost my vampire fangs, hehe to think I would miss it and exchange it with perfect teeth..what a dream. I tried talking without relying on my teeth this morning in the car, I realized we can't blame babies for slurring and making sounds that don't mean a thing to us, without teeth, that's the best you can do. Thank god my teeth is still attached!

I was in a bad mood till I met Carmen. I went to her place to swim with her today. Quite random, and its nine in the morning, chilly and yet, we did it anyway hehe. I like her pool, its clean and nice. She taught me how to swim free style, hehe my pose is still imperfect but I learned how to swim free style! hehe

After that, we had lunch with Paul, Kelsey, Albert and another guy, Wei Kiet I think..don't know how to spell, in a restaurant called Calorie. I understood why it has that name after I saw the food..man, the portion is sooo large, I can't finish it. After that I hung out at Carmen's place for a while. I followed Carmen into her lecture hall, sneaky am I? hehe..try to feel how is it like to study in IMU. Its kinda boring though...I almost fell asleep. Halfway through the lecture, Kelsey called, so I went to meet Kelsey, Albert and Paul again. We played the grand piano. Before that, a guy was playing it. He is so good at it, but he only plays Beethoven type songs, although I am a Beethoven fan as I always chose Beethoven's songs as my exam pieces..his songs are full with negative emotions, so its kinda disturbing la when he kept repeating the songs..the atmosphere was so dense I felt like I'm suffocating..they said the guy is a piano prodigy, only sixteen, a medic student. Same batch as Paul and the others. He looks like Danial Radcliff, with his specs framing his eyes and the way he smiled when he talked to us. Paul was surprised that I noticed all this because the whole time he was facing the piano and only facing us for a short while.. Haha..I have good observation skills ok!

After that, we went to Albert's place because Kelsey kept saying she's hungry, don't know what's wrong with her, hehe, she kept saying she's hungry the whole day and she ate twice already. Albert invited us to his place and let us try a sarawakian food called "kom pia". At first I heard "gong pia", if you're a Hokkien, you would know what is " gong", so I was thinking, what? will I become dumb after eating it? hehe..Its basically minced roasted pork in crispy dough. Quite nice.

After that, we chat for a while. I went home at 6 when Carmen and the others want to leave. I had fun today, at least I didn't stay in my room for the whole day like before^^ I shall remember the gong pia, hehe I still like to call it gong pia.

Oh, by the way, I just found out from the Stars that Asian Cafe was closed for fourteen days due to hygiene problems. Now I know the culprit behind my food poisoning. I had four experiences of food poisoning in this year while I studied there, seriously, I was wondering what is wrong with me and what did I eat. I think I went to AC quite often when I was studying there. Hmp!

Good grief, if today I dream about teeth falling off again, I will really start cursing...ish..

2010-09-29T22:22:00.000-07:00

30th of September,it is the birthday of someone who takes a very special place in my heart, the vampire freak Kelly Ong, who never sleeps and online mostly after midnight, hehe. So this post is dedicated to her, the vampire who just got older every seconds, hehe you should be happy, old vampires are stronger you know? hehe

I guess I am supposed to write a love letter to her, but she is vain enough,hehe if I do that, she will be smiling creepily in front of her screen..ehem..so let's not give her that pleasure, though its her birthday wahaha..

Ok, fine, she is beautiful, I'm not talking about her appearances (aha, not a chance, ble :P), I am talking about her soul. She's petite and short ( that's the truth Kelly, live with it, hehe) but she will stand in front of you and appear to be bigger than anyone else to protect you. She is a friend who will always stay by your side no matter what happens. She always listens when you need someone to confide in. She is the best kind of friends you would ever wish for, someone to fall back on.

She is fun to be with, though she always cheats when playing games, hehe.. that's the fighting spirit huh? She never runs out of cheeky comments and suggestions even in bad times when you need to find a reason to laugh so badly. She always knows how to cheer me up. Sometimes, I think she can read minds because she always seems to know what is on my mind even though we were thousand miles apart,facing laptop screens. Kelly, don't gloat on this when you read it ok? hehe

So I wish her best of luck in everything she does. With that beautiful soul of yours, I am sure you will go far in life and get what you want^^ Best friends forever, hos over bros!

2010-09-29T06:17:00.000-07:00

Joy Spreader in process...
It doesn't look nice, but trust me,it is more than meets the eye...hehe

That's the crow queen...wahaha

Today I went to my friend's house to bake cup cakes. There is no special occasion, its just for fun. My friend printed a recipe from a website,we went shopping for ingredients yesterday. It's oreo cup cakes, actually, she wanted to make cheese cup cakes, fortunately I stopped that disaster from happening. She said cheese is nice...not in a million years would I agree of that..thinking of cheese gives me goosebumps..yikes..

I wanted to list down the steps of what we did, but it will be a boring post then, so I'll pass. Its great seeing each other again, and my friend is as crazy as before, hehe...she called herself the crow queen..can you believe that? When she read this,she is going to call me names and said something about my round face, yeah, that's one of my best friends since I was eight..that's what friends are for right?*sigh* hehe

I'm not a skilled baker or cook, and I doubt I will be one anyway, I have not discover the fun of cooking yet, but baking is fun. I guess, if you interview a chef, he would have said that its not about the skills, its the satisfaction of bringing joy to others through the dishes and seeing the happiness plastered on their face when they enjoy your dishes. So chefs are supposed to be the happiest bunch of people in the world, isn't it?Because, for a person to spread joy, he will have to be an extremely happy person at first right?

Spreading happiness through food, hmmm..really? I will have to ask my mum if she feels happy after eating my cupcake..

Shu Fang's Joy Spreader Cupcakes...wahahaha..

I'm not joking, the hospital canteen should hire some bakers and have them make cupcakes and other sweet stuffs..hospital food is so grim and sad, it will only add on the suffocating atmosphere of depression..really..After all, sweet food will induce the release of endorphins right? Which is why, chocolates are good for depressed people.

Hmm..how come I digressed from cup cakes to endorphins and happiness?I can really go on and on about stuffs that are unrelated..

2010-09-27T01:28:00.000-07:00

I was doing something for the kids, erasing some papers (actually, lots of papers==), then I had a thought. What if we are given a chance to erase something from our life, be it present or the past, not the future of course, what will it be for you?Or would you rather leave it be?

If I'm a survivor of katrina hurricane or other natural disasters, I would erase the fact that I was left behind.

If I'm a detective, I would erase all the scenes where I see deaths.

If I'm an abused wife, I would erase my husband. This is easy.

If I'm an alcoholic or drug addict, needless to say what I would erase.

If I'm just me, I think I will erase nothing. I don't have a lot happening in my life, but even if I do, I think I will like to keep my memory whole and complete.

Let's see, what if a mouse erases the fear of cats, and saw a cat?

Since erasing the past will not change the future, its quite pointless..and if erasing the past will change the future, I am sure I wouldn't erase anything then.

If there is something so bad that I have to erase, I guess it must be death related then.I want to erase the day my puppy died.

I know what I should erase now, this post. Its nothing but nonsense..as usual.

2010-09-26T07:18:00.000-07:00

Took these pictures awhile ago..mum said its ugly, I mean the shirt of course hehe..

Have some pretty dark stuffs in my mind to write, but I figured I don't want my blog to be so blue. So I'll post this instead. Nothing special, just random.

Can't wait for this Sunday!

2010-09-24T09:09:00.001-07:00

What happen if you have an eye infection in one eye but you wanna watch a movie so desperately?

My mum would say, go to bed and forget about it.

I say, close one eye and use the other to watch..hehe which is what I am doing now..shh..

My mum is checking on me...I'm getting good at making agreeble sounds without meaning what I said..hehe

Hmm..I feel like a pirate now..Aye aye!Captain! hehe

2010-09-23T22:51:00.000-07:00

Just put it here because its cute...
Lost or found?Found what you've been looking for?Found what you've lost?
Dream or reality?Which is better? Lately, I prefer reality, had too many nightmares that send shiver down my spine..how come my dreams are so scary nowadays?Its always about lost..

Happy or sad?One of the reasons clowns are so scary...their emotions blend in as one..a mixture which makes a fearful face..I can never like a clown..
Dusk or dawn?Its always dawn when you're happy and dusk when you're in despair...beauty of nature..

2010-09-22T07:30:00.000-07:00

Full moon. Ever wonder what will happen if you look into the moon too long?

People say, full moon makes people become lunatic and do stupid things. Why?

I know werewolves howl to the full moon, so maybe its not safe walking in a night where the moon brightly shines at night, full.

Moon inspires people in a way that no one can explain. Check out the poems about them, its boring but there are tonnes of them around.The silver lining which illuminates the sky like a veil of hope, the ray of light across a pitch black sky, a glowing coin, name it as you like, today is the day to pay compliments to the moon. It is also the day for family reunion. Not for me though, so I didn't celebrate it. I am not that poetic anyway, full moon appears in every month, why bother?

2010-09-22T06:27:00.000-07:00

Watch too much House I guess...

2010-09-15T07:45:00.000-07:00

I want a cardigan! Seriously, I've been searching for one, but never found the right one with reasonable price. Its either not nice, or its not worth the price. Gosh, why is it so hard to get one for myself? Its so weird. When you walk into a mall, throw a pebble and you can easily hit a girl with a cardigan. I saw lots of them wearing around, shoving it onto my face like winners. What the heck..where did they get those nice and comfy cardigans?I didn't ask for a cardigan with diamond studs..I just want a long cardigan, with buttons and pockets, body hugging and a little details at the back. Hehe..maybe its too much to ask..hmm, but people are wearing it..I see lots of them.I wish they are on hangers and not on girls..haih..

2010-08-31T09:32:00.000-07:00

Its the end of August. Beginning of September, it also marks the end of something.

This is a pretty blue month to me, a month where I have to say good byes to several friends.

I am never good at good byes, never will be. I really hate departures like this.

However, my friends are flying far and high to reach their goals, so its nothing to be sad about. Best of luck everyone.

Its still a pretty blue month because I will miss them.

The world held a lot of promises and hopes, but please remember that there's always a friend, still eager to hear from you, and still care. Hos over bros? hehe, watched too much One Tree Hill.

Fly high, fly safe, my friend.

I will miss you...

Blue, is the colour now, its the new pink.

2010-08-12T05:16:00.000-07:00

Unbelievable!

I wasn't planning to check my results,not until after working hour. However this morning,Carmen called me and told me hers,so I got really nervous and decided that it can't wait any longer. The anticipation is unbearable, and the server is lousy.. I login more than once to get into it, and the moment I saw my results, I can't believe my eyes! I thought my eyes are playing a trick on me..checked a few times, and called up Mr Lai, have him checked with the office, and its real! I've got 4A*s for my A Level exam..hehe very happy about it because it is very unexpected!

Thank you so much for your guidances my dearest lecturers!

2010-07-16T04:10:00.000-07:00

Bitter or Sweet?

Can it be both?

Dark chocolate. Now I know why I love dark chocolate. Bitterness coating the sweetness of the chocolate, or should I say, is chocolate even sweet without any additives?

Questions or Answers?

Answers leading to more questions. Is it better to leave a question unanswered? A fantasy is made from deliberately ignored questions. But, no one can resist the temptation to know the answers of the questions asked, its a cycle.

Hence, I prefer answers.

Simplicity or Complicated?

Almost all will opt for simplicity. Happier this way. However, isn't it a complicated process to try and ignore the obvious problems, pretend that its the way it is, and lastly enjoy the happiness brought by the ignorance? So, is it still as simple as that? Or should I ask, is anything simple where the conscious part of the brain is involved?

Hence, I prefer complications. Oops, didn't sound right. Who cares.

Confused? Maybe. I have too much time for this. So, allow me to sink in this pool of confusion before reality kicks in. We all have to wake up one day, unfortunate but true.

2010-06-22T22:45:00.000-07:00

I love this one, I don't know why hehe

Ms Rathi
The Barbecue

My sister gang
My soul mate^^
May I have this dance?

It has been awhile...I always wanted to write something but there's always something more interesting to distract me so I never really start writing...plus, there's too many things to post about, too many thoughts to express..everything is so messy and tangled in my head, I don't even know how to start..anyway..enough digressing..

First, I should start from how I feel about my performance in exam. One word: speechless. End of story.

Next, the barbecue party. It all started during chemistry lesson. Ms Rathi complained that its unfair to let the girls organize the event. I think the previous barbecue party was organized by the girls, pity that I missed it T.T....So this time the guys took over. When they said its one day before prom, many of us were worried , its very risky, nobody wanna go to the prom with a pimply face, no matter how much make up we used, its still there hehe... So that day, we attended the BBQ worrying about that. However, we were totally dumbstruck when the outcome of the event was so unexpected. The guys put in a lot of effort to decorate the place and prepare the food. We were so amazed, especially when Edwin brought us to the dining table behind the cafeteria. There were candles and christmas lights(bulbs?I don't know the name),it was so beautiful. Ms Rathi was very emotional on that day. Before that, I kept on thinking the guys should do all the roasting because its one day before prom, but I never thought on that day, they will really do all the things, I was just joking...so embarrassed, didn't even help out in cleaning the mess..Nothing more to say, too stunned. It was perfect, thumbs up for the guys of PM3. Thank you so much for the unforgettable evening..

Lastly, the prom. The long awaited event, at least for us girls since we spent so much time in finding the appropriate outfit,shoes bla bla bla..It was held in JW Marriot Hotel. The theme on that day was Atlantis Odyssey..not very sure about the meaning of the theme and the legend,I think it has something to do with the journey of life,memories and friendship, wasn't listening when they were explaining..too hungry to pay attention. Everybody dressed up on that day(obviously), I felt a bit sad that day because the prom symbolizes the end of my college life. Busy taking pictures with as many friends as possible..and the lecturers..although sometimes they intimidated me, when the whole college experience ended, I really miss them, thank you so much for being so helpful when I don't understand the lessons. I will always remember Mr Leong's famous quote: when you have 2 equations, you can solve anything( something like that rite?), and vertically downwards hehe and his story ( about how he broke his arms and how he regretted not going to the hospital earlier). Never thought I will miss physic..its not my favourite subject but at this point when I won't be studying it anymore, looking at the notes that I keep so dearly, I started to feel sad when its time to say goodbye and keep them in the closet. (I don't wanna throw them away...)

The only thing that I don't enjoy that day is the food...its not that the food is bad..its good,but the time delay between the first dish and the second was tooooo long, I was starving by the time the second dish arrived..too hungry until I lost my appetite..can you imagine that? The person on the stage kept talking, I kept thinking: when will the food come..its really torturing..hehe in the end when the food came,I don't feel hungry anymore..maybe my stomach digested its own walls so I'm full==

Everything was ok until Kelly and Yasmin said goodbye..I don't know why,although I'll see them again soon, when they said goodbye, and hugged me, I can't bear it, especially when they walked away, when I looked at them, I kept on thinking: will we get to see each other again? I was thinking about how much fun we had in the past one year and a half..then I thought of Katy Perry's song: I'll never be the same,if we ever meet again..that phrase really made me depressed== The same thing happened when Carmen and Wei Ling left..so many flashbacks..I can't imagine the day when I really have to say goodbye to Yasmin after the trip..let's not go there yet..its a forbidden topic..

My college life..so much to say, but it can be summarized into one word: memorable...it will always remain as an important part of my life..

Phew..there..I finished updating my blog..ok, now, I'm gonna continue watching my movie haha!

2010-01-11T20:41:00.000-08:00

Finally its over...my hospital attachment...I applied for it during my holiday..boy,it was exhausting! I had to wake up at 5 in the morning to get ready. Then I reached there at 7, worked till 5.15pm..I could barely keep my eyes open once I reached home. Thank god its only 3 days..I met a lot of friends though. On the last day, I never expected to feel sad to leave, my new friends are really nice. I even stayed until 5.30pm so that I can work with them a bit longer.

Report:

Day 1
I reached the hospital and headed to the office. I was brought to the outpatient pharmacy department. The chief welcomed me and asked me to make myself helpful and learn as much as I could. Then he left me on my own..I felt a bit stunned as everybody was working busily,none have time for me. Not even a good introduction and a good start..hmmm..So I scoped around and one girl looked up at me, tada, I locked my target and walked to her. She was a bit surprised,I introduced myself and asked if I could help her. She was a bit awkward at first but quickly we became friends. She's very friendly. Since I am not a pharmacist, I am not authorised to dispence the drugs so she let me help her find and pack the medicine. She taught me how to read the presciptions written by the doctors..boy,doctors have awful writings..not that I complain..later I talked to a few malay pharmacist, they were all very friendly too^^I was amazed that they could find all the drugs within seconds when I had to run all over the place looking at the chemistry names and struggled to find the right drug..My senior was so nice as she had lunch with me, I was planning to have lunch on my own as everybody seems to have their own gang.

Day 2

Better day, did not feel like stranger anymore. Everybody greeted me and nodded at me when they saw me^^Worked as usual. Witnessed how my senior deal with a few hot tempered old patients, they were so furious as they had to wait for their turns and when they lost their prescriptions but still insisted that we give them their drugs. Some threw the paper at the counter...but I supposed being sick must make people feel depressed and bad temper so I tried to help as much as I could. I met a new friend too,she was really funny. When I helped her, she told me a lot of stories. Today I got to learn the drug names and what categories are they in,thanks to my senior. She treated me Secret Recipe cake today,so nice^^

Day 3

Today was the last day. I was interviewed by the chief . He wanted to know what have I learned. It was brief. Then I walked to the office to get my letter. On my way, somebody called me doctor as I was wearing a white lab coat, she called me twice!haha so happy!today the staff at my department treated me nasi lemak^^during lunch time,my new friends ate lunch with me and they treated me again. I gave them gifts as a token of gratitude. We changed contacts and promised to keep in touch. Finally I went home. So long for my adventure as a pharmacist.

2009-12-28T22:25:00.000-08:00

Tada!

Today I had my haircut in Mico. I didn't want it to be short so I asked her to cut something that will cover the roundness of my face hehe. So she did this--Its nice,I like it. But the curls will be gone once I wash my hair so I decided to savour this moment by snapping photos hehe..think I'm gonna do a digital curl in future,maybe next year.

2009-12-26T04:09:00.000-08:00

I finished Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol today. It was quite nice, I like Dan Brown's book,he always describe things intelligently that it feels like you're seeing it in your own eyes. As usual his book revolves around mysteries and lunatic who seems to misunderstood and took the evil path. The story was nice at first but the ending was a bit odd and funny. It turns out that the lost symbol, the lost word is actually the Bible. And that it contained ancient mysteries which will reveal things that make a man God. It also says that the Bible actually mentioned man is God. I don't know about that but if what he mentioned in Noetic science is true then it will be exciting. He mentioned that thought has mass, our thought actually changes things physically, that is interesting. He also mentioned that human soul actually exist and can be proven scientifically, it will be so nice if its true, that means after I took my last breathe I can actually reunite with my family and I can watch the world. Maybe I can float to the galaxy and explore. I always hope that if there is after life, I want to fly out of the ozone layer and explore the universe and search for aliens in the other planets. I will try to die in slim shape so that my soul can float up high.That is kinda creepy so I decided not to talk about it. I am looking forward to Dan Brown's next book,hopefully this time it will have a better ending.

2009-12-26T03:08:00.000-08:00

This is a late post. It happened in Wednesday this week...well not very late I suppose hehe

That day my mum brought four of us,me and my sisters and my cousin there because there's a Jusco sale where everything was as cheap as you can bargain. Well, as soon as we stepped into the building, we saw signs of 50 percents and 70 percents discounts all over the place, offering goodies in the lowest price. I suppose its the end of the year so of course the shop owners want to clear off their stocks. My mum bought a few bed sheets and comforters as it was cheaper than it ever could be at this time. Me and my sisters went into the boutiques to shop for clothes, its time to add on new pieces to celebrate new year!I always love this part of new year where my mum will not grumble if I bought too many clothes at once. I found one top with nice iron accessories on it which make me feel like I'm a military person(somehow I got the idea that military people wear iron on their shirt hehe) so I felt cool in it,I bought it with a white jacket that I fall in love with, call this love at first sight^^

Well sadly, after that I found nothing to my interest, my mum too..no wonder all the goodies were in such low prices, they aren't worth more than that...At a store selling bags, the sight was terrifying, as the salesman announced the cheap prices and the discount, women of mostly mid forties flocked to that store and started to snatch and hold on to the bag as if they are the most precious treasure of all, that store was flooded with people. Me and my family stood as far as we could while watching with open mouth, as I write now, I regretted dearly that somehow I forgot to snap a photo of that scene...

After that we took our lunch in a small cosy restaurant. I don't really like the food, but I enjoy the drink and the cushion^^

I bought movie tickets to watch the long awaited movie "Avatar". I've been longing to watch it since the first time I saw its poster. I persuaded my mom to watch with us as she was reluctant at first, she said that no doubt she will fall asleep. At last she agreed, saying she won't mind a short nap.>.<

It turns out that the movie was awesome! It was so cool and I like the story very much. The plot was good as it was a fast paced movie so you won't be bored, I wish I watched the 3D version as there were a lot of actions and flying involved so it will be so much fun experiencing it in 3D. I thought the avatar of Jake looked handsome, more handsome than the real person. I really love the Toruk he rode, wish I can ride it too. After that movie all of us wished that we can be avatar too. I asked them :"If you are given a choice, will you give up your body to become an avatar?" Well, the answer was predictable, all of them said yes, including yours truly. As a bonus, my mum did not fall asleep hehe, she agreed that the movie was nice. Maybe after 2012 all of us will become avatar hehe,new beginning.I am going to wait for the dvd version and buy it as soon as it is available!

2009-12-17T05:20:00.000-08:00

In Papa Rich dining hehe...

Place to write something the kids in need and we'll post it to them^^

This is a bit late,anyways...This was the charity dinner I represented my club for.I was assigned a photo booth so I gotta decorate it nicely. I took the job because I thought another cert will be nice in my resume hehe..not so charitable am I?

I sort of skipped almost all of the meetings hehe,other than my reluctance to stay back,I was preparing my As finals so I can't put my mind and drag my butt to sit there listening to somebody jabbering about some dinner.After the exam I went shopping for materials with my mum. I'm not that irresponsible hehe.

That day I dragged my sis to help me with the decorating. It was kinda rush as I have three hours to decorate more than 4 meters of booth.I kinda put everything I've got there and then, without any draft or drawn plan. Its a last minute work but I pretended like I had it all in my mind...Then the helpers..let's just say they're not much help. They are mostly Africans, all of them did things so slow while chatting in African language that I do not understand, me and my sis practially took care of things ourselves after I sent them away. After a few hours of hard work, we finally meert our deadline and glam up the booth. I treated my sis a dinner in Papa Rich outside the campus as we don't feel like eating in the campus. Everything went smoothly. A lot of people came by my booth to take photos and I collected quite a number of donations. It was exhausting. After that we went back to my aunt's house because the next day we were going out to a steamboat buffet with my family and cousin.I always love steamboat!Especially the scallop!yum yum! We stayed over and shopped in Sunway Piramid after that.That was practically an interesting weekend.A perfect start for my holiday. Attached was the pictures^^As usual, camwhore hehe

2009-12-14T03:01:00.001-08:00

As word goes, a picture worths a thousand words. Not going to elaborate,so here's the pictures hehe call me lazy,whatever,I don't care >.

Colourful?hehe actually I wasn't suppose to be there as its strictly for under 11 toddlers hehe

maybe he's the frog prince..don't blink

Pose...

Here we go..canoeing...

Sunset

Swimming..ugly photo hehe

Before dinner...in the hotel room.

Hehe..camwhore

2009-12-10T09:35:00.000-08:00

Today went to the night market with my cousin. Bought a few dvds..of course its pirated..my dad aint own the show business..anyway,bought a cute little butterfly hairclip..i doubt it will stay on my hair as its too small,wont be of much use I reckon.Not a fruitful day, but its a long holiday so I'm going take time and enjoy. Feeling excited as I'm going to Port Dickson with my cousin this weekend, the closest thing to beach I guess..although the last time I checked, its not in a very good shape with muddy water and wet sticky sand..hope its not the same..gotta bring lots of sunplay and olay hehe..dont wanna appear with indonesian skin when I come back.
Bought some drinks in the night market, it so happens that me and my cousin were wearing pink and having pink drinks..so that calls for a snap shot! Say CHEESE!!

Later I don't know what got into me, I watched Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince again hehe,switching off all the lights so that the atmosphere will be kinda mysterious hehe..nice movie,I always love Harry Potter,not as good as the book but still..it is so much closer to my imagination when I read the book. I cried when Dumbledore died..sod it, I really don't get it, why must he die? I really love that old man!Hermione and Ron are so cute together, I can't get enough of them. But Ginny was just weird,it doesnt make sense that both of them suddenly got so smitten with each other..its annoying somehow...Looking forward to The Deadly Hallow..if its correctly spelled..I forgot the name.

2009-04-09T02:55:00.000-07:00

Wen Ying's Birthday~

Today Wai Ting and I went Jusco and watched The Confession of Shopaholic.It was a nice movie,Becky was very funny.We planned to go to Wen Ying's house and surprise her as its her birthday today.Our plan failed because Wen Ying was not home,she asked us to meet her in Sungai Long.So in the end we ate in Secret Recipe with her.Its not exactly a celebration,as not many people show up,we didn't invite because it was a random gathering.Happy Birthday Wen Ying!!And,i drove to Jusco and Secret Recipe without my mum beside me!!I felt so happy as it was the first time i drove alone!

Happy trail,adios^^

2009-04-05T00:48:00.000-07:00

Happy Day^^

Finally , my midterm break!I have two weeks of holiday!!!Paradise,heaven, to think that i don't have to wake up at 5 everyday and drag myself to college..no tests..that's how life should be!Although the homeworks and assignments are really de-motivating, but that's not going to affect my holiday mood!!

Yesterday I went to my friend's house for a small gathering before Meng Min leave and return to her camp..So glad to see her and Wai Ting!We had a good time together.Meng Min was so obsess with her cube toy,she looked so serious and determine to solve that cubic toy,she looked funny haha Wai Ting brought her guitar on my request and she taught me Love Story,well..i only managed to learn two chords hehe..not talented,Meng Min kept laughing at me and she said I'm causing sound pollution!Well,I won't give up,I WILL learn guitar after i finish my piano,haha.Although its fun playing(or messing with Wai Ting's guitar),my fingers felt numb and painful after that..however its a small price to pay if i can play as good as Wai Ting^^haha..Wai Ting must be blushing and she sure will ask me to delete this post or her name but i won't haha(devilish smile)^^

In paradise,^^

2009-02-21T04:24:00.000-08:00

Sleep Over~

Yesterday I stayed over in my friend's hostel.(yeah its forbidden by the office but they couldn't really know rite?)We're having a meeting today,so in order to save my transportation fare,I decided to sleep over Kelly's place.Ok,I admit its partly because I wanna have fun and there's a big swimming pool in her hostel!So yesterday after Latin class,we went to her place.I wanted to swim but there were guys in the pool and no girls so I decided to pass the chance.We talked and gossiped in her room,had dinner with her roommates.One of them is a Korean girl and oh god,she 's really good in cooking.She cooked a Korean meal by using just a little rice cooker,how cool is that!We decided to give ourselves a break so we didn't do our homework yesterday.Instead we watched movies.I brought Cinderella story,White Chick and Benjamin Button.We managed to finish the first two but were too tired to continue the third one.We slept at 3a.m.So in the end we were late for the meeting.She said she woke up at 8 but she saw me still sleeping so she thought I'll wake her up when its time then she slept.But little did she know I woke up too and was thinking the same thing,so at last we both woke up at 11,which was two hours late for meeting.Hilarious,we rushed and hurry to the web to meet our team...at least we finished the project.What a day!I had lots of fun yesterday.Maybe next week I shall sleep over her place again.Maybe Yasmin and Wei Ling will join us too,that'll be great!

2009-02-07T07:13:00.000-08:00

Celebrated My Best Mate's Birthday

Today is Jac's birthday.Since she doesn't like surprises so we celebrated with her in Jusco in a normal way.We sang,we ate steamboat and watched bride war.By the way,bride war is soooo nice,its about friendship and love.I love that movie soo much.Anne Hathaway is so pretty!I like Kate Hudson's eyes though,they're sexy!

So nice to be able to hang out with them today,miss that,should meet often!And guess what?We played the arcade games in Jusco today,the drums.So funny,our hands ached much after we finished it.Have fun today and surely I'll miss it ...I already do miss them...Happy holiday...assignments waiting...sigh

2009-02-07T06:55:00.000-08:00

My New Friends^^

Things had been overwhelming at first but now,the missing pieces floated back to places.I made new friends and started to settle down and getting used to my new place.All my squirmings and nauseated feelings due to nervousness and loneliness seems to be recovering.I like my new friends,we're getting familiar with each other fast and its good to know someone will be hanging out with me in Taylor.I've joined a few clubs and yesterday i nominated myself for a post in one of the clubs,have to give speech right away and i survived!I got the post of assistant secretary...freaked out when i had to make speeches in front of so many people .I started to like my college.

Doing lab works every week.I love chemistry experiments,physic is boring.Everything is quite ok i guess,still coping,just had my physic test,next week bio and chemistry test...sigh...bio is hard.But i'll survive somehow if i stop slacking off so often...happy thaipusam!

2009-01-02T06:46:00.000-08:00

Met Ashley!We hang out in Oldtown Cafe for lunch then we talked for almost 4 hours!Can't believe it,we sat there for so long just to talk.Guess its reasonable when you meet ur long lost friend,excuse me,she's not a long lost friend,I'm just saying it for effect,wahaha,she's my best friend who migrated to Australia 3 years agao,and now she's back for a short reunion with us!!!

We had a lot to catch up so we talked for a long long time,just to make sure we say everything we wanna say before she left Malaysia again...miss her so much!W thought of leaving the cafe and go somewhere else but time's limited,so we save all that for our next gathering,which is next week if everything go accoding to plan...We'll meet in Midvalley this time,looking forward to it!Love you so much Ash!SHE's more mature and beautiful,she wanna be a doctor,i admire her courage,best wishes^^

Its already January,2 more days i'm going to Taylor...i'm so anxious to know what will become of me..new things..new life,i have to start all over again and work extremely hard to meet my own goals and meet my parents expectation...Will people there accept me and be my friends?Its always full of doubt when you start a new journey...Godd luck to me^^Happy New Year everyone!

2008-12-26T05:03:00.000-08:00

ChristmAS!

I went to Sunway Piramid with my cousin~Winnie

We had steamboat for lunch and then we shopped till 10.00p.m.

How crazy is that huh?Though we walked till feet ache,we had lots of fun

I bought cute T and vest and a pair of cute boots!So happy!

I love to shop in Sunway Piramid on Christmas day coz that place is gorgeous with huge Christmas tree and beautiful lightings with almost every salesmen and salesgirls wore Christmas costumes with cute little hat!I wanted to wear that christmas hat but at last i gave up...haha not enough courage...

After that we slept over in my cousin's house...we watched a korean movie,but,seriously its disgusting but super funny...a kind of movie that u won't wish to watch twice wakaka

My dear little cousin if u read this,u'll know wat i mean by that rite?haha

Wish we'll spend more time together soon^^

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

2008-12-22T00:43:00.000-08:00

Once Upon A Time

Story to tell...but noone to listen

All the eager and fun

All the hopes and fantasies

Faded with the dreams we shared

Once upon the time

Before time's slipping through my fingers

The castle we built,the bubbles of laughter

Shattered along the empty heart..

None of it matters

Because the heart is vacant...with noone else willing to visit

Drops of pearl frozen after lingering too long

On the face of an ugly corpse

Who once shone like a diamond

Stories?eventually became histories

Where nobody care to read and change it

Time passes like kites with broken strings

What's left in that tomb?

The tomb where its a castle of hope..

Only memories of shattered pieces

Memories that come and go with the tides

A sealed heart and secret in a sea of darkness

Some will remember

The tomb and the castle

Once upon a time...

2008-07-17T05:33:00.000-07:00

Sophisticated?Not?

Sleek short hair,black sleeveless top

Your fashion assistant is not doing her job

Pinkish pumps and blackie jeans

Showing me that you're too keen

Scottish accent or British accent

You're just a naughty adolescent

Trying to fit in the elit groupies

You may as well claim that you have herpies

High cheek bones that match your vain

I'll say that you're just insane

Tell me you're sophisticated?

I'll say you'll be disappointed!

2008-07-14T02:57:00.000-07:00

Our Trials have been postponed to September!

What more can I say other than thank god?

Oh this is great!I have more time to prepare and more time to sleep now!

Last Friday i passed my driving test!My "driving teacher" said i can get my license this Wednesday!

I'm SOoo thrilled!Finally i can drive on my own!

I'm looking forward to drive to the nearest mall which is Jusco and watch movies!

I wanna watch The War of Dragons and Hellboy and Hancock!

Will Smith is way too cool and funny!

Oh and after watching CSI:Miami,i love Jonathan Togo,he's sooo HANDSOME!Can anybody tell me why anybody in CSI fired him?He's so nice!

2008-07-10T07:53:00.000-07:00

I couldn't care less!

Oh My God!

How sucks can a life as a prefect get?I've been a prefect+prefectorial's board commitee member for 5 years and now after all this services the teachers decided to treat us like that?

First she wants our tie back after we sort of retire as every form 5 do...

Then she forbid us to step into the hall...

Last she wants our service...after all we're suppose to be relaxing and rest as we should be?

Is she nuts?Stupid teacher!If anyone wish to be a Yu Hua prefects and wish to be chosen as the commitee member,please don't,unless if u wanna be use up and kick off like me!

ps:Ms Kwok must be out of her mind and power crazy to make such brainless and unthoughtful decisions!Simply stupid!Hate her!

2008-06-14T06:35:00.000-07:00

DResS Up TimE!
Let's SeE wHat i Got to wEaR...

DResS Up TimE!

Let's SeE wHat i Got to wEaR...

Love to DreSs Up!ItS fUn and EntertAining!

LovE lOng sleEves especially...

NicE and CosY...

LovE wHite aNd liGht colOur toO...

2008-05-22T07:44:00.000-07:00

Heavens!

At last my suffer leads to a great valley of entertainments-holiday!Exam is finally over,hell is away now,hello heaven!

Heavenly moment

Thou shall look into the future

Misery in the past shall be forgotten

Nature heals?Disagree

Time heals?Hell yeah!

Vacation is the miracle remedy

Heavenly moment

Thou shall realise the temporary excitments

Waiting to lead into a new journey

Trial is hidding

Waiting to lurk into the way

Thou shall remove the obstacle

To lead a succesful heavenly life

Permanently....

Hmm...sounds nothing like a poem,i made it myself...Looks like i've no poetic talent!

2008-05-16T23:02:00.000-07:00

Fashion Week!

I'm certainly not a fashion icon,but i do love to see new fashions!

Well, i'm a girl, of course i love dressing up,if only i can have a much better fashion sense like Serena in Gossip Girls!I love her dress and her boots,i love her tote bags too!

My Secret Garden

2008-05-03T03:23:00.000-07:00

Grab a Lollipop while you can!

`So here we are again,exploring my newly designed secret garden of dreams'

Well, this is my creative space, a place to share and plant ideas and craps...

THIS is not my diary-blog, so if anybody wish to peep into somebody else's business,well you've come into the wrong place,security alert!

I'm trying to generate ideas here, so help me if you can, i'll appreciate that^^

For those who seek ,
You'll get what you need,
Just listen with your heart,

Those who share,
Are those who care.
The universe will only grow bigger,
If the stars shine together

To me, life must be colourful and fully contented,like a sweet lollipop!^^