There's this boy, I've been trying to approach him and teach him. He is a very smart boy, but he has attitude problems. He keeps to himself, but when he is in a cheerful mood, he will join in the fun. Sometimes he steals stuff from the other children, nothing big,just pens and erasers. The children always know and they will take it back from his bag. He seems to know it too, and he let them, but he always does the same thing again. I don't think he wants the stuff, he's a rich boy. I don't understand why he does that either. I never punish him, because somehow, when the others told me he's a thief( they always tell me that,right in front of him), he always looks down at his feet and says nothing. I can't bring myself to punish him because he looks so sad. I see no guilt but loneliness. The other teachers will punish him, so, although I shouldn't let him keep repeating it, I thought I shouldn't punish him like the others, I want to know how he feels and why he does that eventhough he knew all the children will search his bag whenever something went missing.After a few attempts, he seems to be more friendly. There's one afternoon when I taught him, he kept joking and laughing. He spoke to me cheerily, treating me like his friends, and at that moment, I felt very happy that he finally open up. And he did all the work perfectly. I was very happy to see him like that, and he even said good bye to me when I leave, well, he isn't very outspoken and seldom greet people loudly like the others, so I felt so touched that day. It seems that he trusts me.
However, today he wasn't in a very good mood. He refused to do the work I asked him to do. I know he is the type of kids that doesn't obey if you punish or spank them, so I was more lenient to him. I asked him to do his work, nagging him. Then he told me he doesn't know how to do, so I said I will teach him. He sprang up and started writing. So I thought that's a good sign. But to my dismay, he copied the answers directly from the book, all of it. He seems to think that he is doing all the work for my sake. I asked him to stop and do it properly, he just kept writing, furiously, as if the papers are his enemies.At that moment, I felt very disappointed. I know he can do it if he mean it, but he just kept copying the answers. I felt that my blood is boiling at that moment and I don't know why, I can feel my tears rolling in my eyes. I felt like I have lost the boy again, and he drew into himself once again. Before I realized, I snatched the work sheet from him. The others thought its funny because then the boy doesn't have to do any work. The boy kept his pencils and started playing. I ignored him completely because I really don't know how to teach him. He doesn't need me to teach him how to do his papers. I just wanted to teach him how to change his attitude, but I know I failed. So to avoid losing control of my temper, I simply walked to the other kids' table and started teaching those that have been waving their hands frantically for me to help them in their homework. Nobody sensed anything because I was smiling as usual. I tried very hard not to look at the boy because I felt very sad when I do so.After that, he walked out of the class casually, like nothing happened. I felt hopeless today, I wish I know how to gain his trust and try to help him. Maybe he doesn't need my help after all, or maybe I was wrong to think that I can help, and that he needs help.
